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Thursday, January 3, 2019

Ezekiel & Kurt

To them you are like a singer of love songs, one who has a beautiful voice and plays well on an instrument; they hear what you say, but they will not do it. 

And he likes to sing along
And he likes to shoot his gun
But he knows not what it means

Thursday, December 13, 2018

Nephi and the law

Hat tip to my wife and Max Skousen on this.  So the deal with 1 Nephi 3:7

I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.


is that it shouldn’t be read in isolation. 1 Nephi 3:7 is young man Nephi.  “Give me a commandment and I will totally nail that commandment.”  But then life continues to happen to Nephi:

2 Nephi 4:17
my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities. 18 I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me. 19 And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.


Finally, old man Nephi is channeling Paul:

2 Nephi 25
25 For, for this end was the law given; wherefore the law hath become dead unto us, and we are made alive in Christ because of our faith; yet we keep the law because of the commandments. 26 And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins. 27 Wherefore, we speak concerning the law that our children may know the deadness of the law; and they, by knowing the deadness of the law, may look forward unto that life which is in Christ, and know for what end the law was given. And after the law is fulfilled in Christ, that they need not harden their hearts against him when the law ought to be done away.


The law is dead and Nephi is alive in Christ.  Nephi's character arc takes him from a righteous young man who thinks he can live the law perfectly into a righteous old man who is transformed by grace.

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Fellowship looking for priesthood

I've recently become aware of a fellowship in need of priesthood for baptism.  They sent me, because I am a famous blogger, the following email:

We are a very female fellowship at students of The Moldova State University.  We are look for a very righteous man to come and baptism us, take away our reproach, and be our oil boy.  Please send priesthood men to us for the baptism and the wine and the tithing.

Sunday, November 11, 2018

Announcement: Infinite Remnant Broadcast

We, as a covenant people, applaud the efforts in engraving the eternal teachings of Denver, even, Dave, on metal plates to be found by future generations after the coronal mass ejection wipes out our modern technologies.

In addition to this effort, scientists from the LZ Slackers Fellowship, with help from John Pratt, are announcing a new initiative.  In an effort to seek the lost sheep remnant, wherever they may be found, we will be broadcasting the complete The Servant Denver Snuffer discography toward Antares.



Furthermore, we will be initiating a broadcast of this message underground for subterranean Israelites.  They will be invited to bring their prophets and their rich treasures, which, we can only assume, consist of a big pile of diamonds to buy us a temple.


Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Touch the Truck for Enlightenment


Young Buddha sought enlightenment, and a car.  Dharma told him he had a great journey ahead of him, for which he would need both.  A local radio station was holding a touch the truck contest, in which the last person to remove his hands from the car, wins the car.

Determined, Young Buddha decided he would sit at the car and meditate until he reached enlightenment.  He was not alone in his quest.  Many Buddhas had also made the journey to seek enlightenment, and the car.

A month passed.  Some of the Buddhas had bowed out of the contest.  They didn't get the car.  It wasn't clear if they received enlightenment.  The radio station didn't expect this to take so long, so they made an addition to the rules:

If all of the people touching the car agree to end the contest together, they can share the car.

The Buddhas thought they could reach agreement; they were all of like mind, they were all devoted to finding enlightenment, and none of them needed the car more often than a couple of times a month anyway.

Agreement was not so easily reached, however.  There were a few factions who had strong opinions about how the car should be used, and all of them had compelling arguments.  Each Buddha wanted to use the car to serve and bless others.

Votes were held.  The Buddhas could not come to unanimous agreement, much to their disappointment.  The great journey awaited each of them, but without the car, they could not embark.  The Buddhas grew frustrated.  It was even proposed that those who disagreed should have their hands pulled off the car, so that the Buddhas could end the waiting ordeal and finally get to their great journey.

Young Buddha said, "Let my skin and sinews and bones dry up, together with all the flesh and blood of my body! I welcome it! But I will not move from this spot until I have attained the supreme and final wisdom. And the car."

The impasse remained.  A year went by. The arguing had died down, but no new solutions were offered.  A few Buddhas took their hands off the car and left.  The long wait gave Young Buddha the time to think, and meditate, and pray.  As more time passed, more Buddhas took their hands off the car, and walked away.  Some angrily, some peacefully. Young Buddha's resolve remained firm.  After all, without the patience to wait for the car, how could he have the patience to withstand the great journey ahead?

A few more Buddhas left until there was only one other Buddha left beside Young Buddha.  They had never agreed on how to share the car, but over the years they had become great friends.  Neither diminished in their resolve, each truly believing that the great journey could not be accomplished with the other's plan for the car.  Still, while their resolve was never diminished, their desire to convince the other was, their thoughts turning inward to meditation.  Finally, Young Buddha, decided that his love for his Buddha brother was so great that he could trust him to decide what to do with the car.  Young Buddha arose, took his hands off the car and walked away.  The car had served its purpose moving him forward on his great journey.

The Buddha that remained, did get the car, in the end.  And, in the end, the car did bless, and serve, and unite the Buddhas.





Thursday, August 30, 2018

Things to hang on your wall if you want a happier family


Two things that you might want to consider hanging on your wall and living by to improve the happiness of your family:

1.   D&C 121:

39 We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion.
40 Hence many are called, but few are chosen.
41 No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood (or manhood or womanhood or motherhood), only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;
42 By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile—
43 Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;
44 That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death.


2.  Matthew 6 (with one little addition from me):

14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
I must forgive you to be forgiven, but that does not mean that I get to demand that you forgive me.



Thursday, August 9, 2018

Some thoughts on a temple


1. We don’t know how much it will cost

2. If there’s no location and no blueprints there’s no invitation

I’m not a sensitive horse--maybe the place and blueprints are already out there for those with ears to hear.









 The hard part is getting people whose hearts are right.  God can’t force that.  He can build buildings very easily.  The world has the resources to build amazing buildings, and God has more resources than the world.









But he can’t change our hearts against our will.





Monday, August 6, 2018

Two ways to have a working Zion

Zion, seems to me to be a society of people who live in peace.

I can see precisely two ways this society happens:

  1. People who never act like assholes.
  2. People who unilaterally forgive each other when they act like assholes.
Which one do you think will be easier to achieve?



Sunday, April 1, 2018

Continuing Revelation

Russell M. Nelson: I called 2 new apostles, overhauled Home & Visiting Teaching, and restructured Melchizedek Priesthood quorums.  How's that for continuing revelation bitches?



Dave:  Hold my beer: http://denversnuffer.com/2018/03/our-divine-parents/



Wednesday, March 7, 2018

How bad do we want Zion?

How bad do we want Zion?

So bad that we're willing to keep all of God's commandments?

So bad that we're willing to give of our substance to the poor?

So bad that we're willing to wait a very, very long time?

So bad that we're willing to be of one heart with many folks we barely know?

So bad that we're willing to take the 4 questions of the covenant?



So bad that we're willing to remove those who stand in our way?

So bad that we're willing to fight a war against those who oppose us?  To crush our enemies? To see them driven before us, and hear the lamentations of their women?


How bad do we want Zion?

Sunday, March 4, 2018

I will not: but afterward he repented, and went.

Dumb question:

If we adopted a really stupid G&S (e.g. this:)

Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll is our creed
Get Rich or Die Tryin
Snitches get Stitches

--> as our G&S--put it in writing, cross-stitch it on our pillowcases, etc.--
But loved each other as ourselves and shared our substance freely, would we be accepted of God?  Would we still meet Enochville, fall on each others necks and canoodle with each other, and all that?


But what think ye? A certain man had two sons; and he came to the first, and said, Son, go work to day in my vineyard. He answered and said, I will not: but afterward he repented, and went. And he came to the second, and said likewise. And he answered and said, I go, sir: and went not. Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him.