A worthwhile modernization

 

"So hold up...even though it was translated before 1830, it was written in King James English?"

"Joe, you have to understand, these people fly to pieces like glass as soon as anything comes that is contrary to their traditions."

"But later on, they put up with harems?  Brigham Young has a bigger body count than even you do!"

"Joe, this new Book of Mormon, they're calling it the Covenant of Christ.  I'm telling you it's the most amazing thing ever.  Even stupid people like Kamala can understand it. But it hits right back at crooked Brigham.  It says 'I will have covenant people, says the Lord of Hosts, and we all know Lord of Hosts means he's a great general, a real Robert E. Lee type, and they will hearken to this commandment to only have one wife.' "